year of grace

looking back a bit

I write to you from under the stuff of family management—the shoe sorting, the size passing down, the replacement of winter boots, and giving away of grown out things. There are piles of things cleared out of closets, awaiting their next home. The sight of them weighs on me when I begin my day, but I haven’t gotten them sorted enough to get them on to their next owner yet.

At certain times in the year I feel the management of stuff is 55% of parenting overhead.

December’s gingerbread houses: so much more orderly than real homes.

But clearing things out for your family and keeping an organized home always pays off immensely, excruciating as it can be at times. For the past few years we’ve had all four girls share one bedroom. It was special time, a sort of minimalism and simplicity for them that made the bedroom just a calm place to sleep, rather than a spacious mini kingdom (what I often feel the decor media is trying to sell us).

And I feel it really gave the oldest and youngest a chance to connect and be comfortable with each other, rather than siloed by their age and activities. Perhaps the biggest perk of all…in all those years we never once had to hear “get out of my room!” echo around the house.

But suddenly its time was at an end. The two oldest were often hoping to sleep in and wake in a silent room, perhaps with a book and the slow shift of the morning sun. The two youngest were going to bed earlier, and popping up like bright chatty birds in the morning, merrily slamming drawers as they got dressed.

So, mid-December’s holiday festivities, we shuffled, packed, moved and resettled, two girls in one room, two girls in another. And I’m left with the detritus of the sorting and moving, the bits of things that closets had hidden too long, but I’m also left with the satisfaction of seeing a good living match for who they are right now, and what they need.

Happy Epiphany to all, and to all a good light! ✨

Reflecting on the year, notebook style

I’ve learned that I can gain more from reflecting on the year that has passed than focusing on goals for the year to come. I’m the blood type that becomes downcast if I don’t exceed my own personal goals, so weighty resolutions aren’t a good fit for me. But looking back at the year—paging through the photos from January on, reading old emails and notes to myself—yields a lovely broad vision of how time went by. Sometimes I make these notes to myself about the year and several days later I’ll remember—oh yeah I got to do a book group six times! Wow, that was amazing. It does take some time to capture it all but what one takes away from it is that there were always unexpected challenges that got sorted out and new things that came into your routine in a lively way.

I made a paella for Christmas dinner, it was easy and delicious, and involved many moments stirring over the fire whilst sipping wine.

I’ve written these up in a notebook in years past, but this year I’m just making a “2024 was…” note on my phone because I am often breastfeeding and doing things with one hand.

Here are a few of my favorite family things of the year to share with you…

2024 Favorites, an incomplete list...

Packing our family gear haul on outings in this $3 ikea bag. It always fits every last mitten.

A Breville Bambino espresso machine. Gifted to us for my birthday in April, adored daily since then. I still like to go out for the occasional coffee, but it feels great to skip the $5 lattes and make my own to order. Watch for sales if you decide to get one, they do go on sale.

Joining Libraries When We Travel. A funny idea that hadn’t occurred to me before. On week-long trips to other states, we would visit the local library and found out how much it cost to check books out as visitors. In Telluride, Colorado it was free. In Michigan it cost $15. Totally worth it for the stacks of books my kids wanted for the week, and such a fun way to engage with the community we were in.

Making sushi as a family. Probably our #1 new habit of the year, we love to do this together. Ingredients to have on hand: cucumber, avocado, seaweed, sushi rice, rice vinegar, some sushi-grade salmon (or if you are like us and gamble with risk a bit: just high quality salmon), cream cheese, rolling mats. Surprisingly it does not take very much salmon to feed a family of six sushi-style—usually half a pound if we thinly slice it. I make the sushi rice according to the NYT recipe and then we all make our own lumpy beautiful rolls while talking and laughing around the table.

Yogurt bowls. This treat/snack was born out of necessity when I had gestational diabetes in my last trimester this year. I wanted a low-carb filling snack that felt like a little bit of a treat at the end of the day. Whole milk yogurt, tiny chocolate chips, chia seed, hemp seed, and whatever fruit we have on hand. The kids love these; they are easy to make and filling!

The Wind in the Willows we read this aloud in February and March and just fell in love with it. I found Kenneth Grahame’s mind to be a thing of beauty and loved being inside it as we read.

2024 books

My favorite reads of this year were Ahab’s Wife, an astoundingly beautiful historical fiction tome set in the time of Melville. And two reads by Louise Erdrich, Love Medicine and The Night Watchman, both of family and lore and love and heartbreak, set on American Indian reservations. But I would recommend to you any of the gems pictured below…

One of the modern reader’s great joys: the year in review cover graphic.

Winter Selves

We’re deep into our winter selves, meaning everyone knows where their warm clothes are, and how to put them on, and makes smart choices about how to dress when its time to get up in the morning. It’s a delight, this phase of the season. Though it is a challenge to get outside every day together, the light feels clear and bright no matter how cloudy it is, and we’re so thankful for the sparkling snow to reflect the light back up at us.

I have more to write to you about how slowly we’ve been doing school since the baby came at the end of September, but in the meantime, I’m wearing two pairs of socks (wool and…wool), I’m reading my annual Quebec mystery, and to be honest—just keeping up with all of it, the house, the meals, the kids, the school—life!

And a quote for you, on caring for your community

And I really feel so deeply that belonging, that feeling at home in ourselves, feeling at home in our place, in our communities, in our relationship with each other is what is going to heal us, is what is going to remind us, is what is going to teach, to help us navigate.

And so anything that we can do—anything that we can do that allows people and other than human beings to feel safe in their surroundings—is actually radical. It's actually revolutionary, it's political. And that that looks like showing up for refugees when they arrive. You know—that looks like still sharing within our communities. That looks like setting up a meal train for postpartum parents. That looks like turning up for your friends that have family setups that look differently from you that need a bit more support.

-beautiful interview with Irish author Kerri ni Dochartaigh.